Myth #4: Passing the breathalyzer

You aren't drunk you are just feeling good.  I'm not as think as you drunk I am, right?  You've driven many times "tipsy" without any problems.  

What you need to consider is this:

• You have been very lucky to not have been caught and your luck may be running out.
• You are not considering that wonderful malfunction of a tail light that may go out while driving.
• You are not considering the other person on the road who is also "tipsy" that may run into you.
• You are not considering the road side block that was set up while you were drinking.

Okay, so you haven't considered this BUT you can pass the roadside exam...you can play it cool.  I was fortunate to be a part of a training for new DUI police officers.  Yes, I was given alcohol over a period of time so they could practice recognizing the signs of a driver who has been drinking.  (Fun for me).  For about three hours we sit in a room and drink (all of which is being documented so they know exactly how much we have drank).  There was about six of us in the "class" and we entertained ourselves playing drinking games.  Once our time was up we were taken into the training room and put through a series of roadside exams.  I'm a friendly kind of gal, I was pleasant.  (I have done this twice and changed up my thought process but I will explain that later).  We did not know the results of our breathalyzer going into the training.  Each group of "trainee's" took us through the roadside tests.  I passed with flying colors...or so I thought.  When the training was over each group of trainee's (about six groups, four to a group) were given the results.  I was going to jail.  NO WAY!!  I passed each test, I was pleasant...what the heck!  When my results for the breathalyzer was announced I had a blood alcohol count of .09%....I was legally drunk.  (and here I thought I was in the clear...didn't feel drunk plus these were rookie DUI cops in training...oops).

So my next time doing this I'll show them.  I decide to drink "just enough" alcohol so they could smell it but not be drunk.  I also decided I would not be a jerk but I wasn't going to be "pleasant" as I was last time.  I'm the smart one, right.  I have to admit I had a whole lot of fun doing this.  Being "obnoxious" (which really comes as a second nature to me) and not be drunk...I got this covered.  Results are in and I'm smirking because five of the six groups were taking me to jail...haha joke is on them.  Blood alcohol level........ is .06%......WHAT!!!!!  That is just over the DWAI (Driving While Ability Impaired).  

Okay, so I can't pass a roadside but I've heard there are ways to beat a breathalyzer so I can fail the roadside and still pass the breathalyzer so who cares right?  Here's a few:

1. Chewing gum:  Okay, this may "mask" the odor of alcohol but does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, change your blood alcohol level in the breathalyzer.
2. Placing a penny under your tongue:  Gotta love this urban legend.  A smart, or sober, person can rationally figure out why this would not work.  It was believed that the "high copper" in pennies would beat the breathalyzer....pennies, since the 1980's are 97% zinc.
3. Drink Zima:  Okay, Zima doesn't "smell" like alcohol so they may not suspect it immediately but Zima has alcohol in it and that is what the breathalyzer reads.  
4. Belching into the breathalyzer:  Sorry guys but the University of Wisconsin study discovered belching had no effect on breath analysis test results even when subjects belched directly into the instrument.

So how do you beat a roadside test or breathalyzer?  Don't drink and drive, that's how.

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Having fun when you are the designated driver

 Okay, it's your turn...you get to go BUT no drinking for you so how are you supposed to have fun? 




Let me assure you there is plenty of ways to be included in the fun (and a few things you can do to create some fun yourself).

Be prepared:  There is nothing worse than driving a really drunk person home.  I suggest you have food in your car that will help soak up some alcohol on your ride.  PB sandwiches (no jelly) are good as they don't "drip" on your seats and it will help fill them up.

Take a notebook with you and assign each person a page.  I love to have them sign their name on the first line before they start drinking.  Each time they finish a drink you write what their drink was and have them sign next to it.  You can have a contest on the most legible signature at the end of the night....and let's be honest we love Facebook and can "post" their sheets the next day.  Make sure the bartender/waitstaff/customer takes a group picture BEFORE the drinking begins.

Go to the dollar store and buy a crazy hat or button.  When one has a "drunk moment" (we all know what those are....falling of the chair, falling into a wall, etc.) they have to wear the hat or button until the next "drunk moment."  Don't forget the picture of this.

If you have a great group of people have each person give you $20.00 before the beginning of the night.  The one with the worst signature has to tip the bartender/waitstaff their whole $20.00 and the rest tip $5.00 of their $20.00.  Depending on your group you can either return the remainder to the "non losers" of the signature game or, if everyone agrees, you can keep that as your tip.

If you feel like you are out of place drinking soda?  Order a non-alcoholic beer or drink.  If your group likes to drink shots (this gets fun with the notebook) have a shot with them....just do it with water, soda or orange juice.

As the designated driver it is your responsibility to keep everyone safe....and of course it is your obligation to take pictures and/or video of the night.  (only do this if you are the type of friend who will respect their privacy and only show them...unless they say you can post it on Facebook).  I have several videos of a friend who rarely drinks but "cut loose" one night at Jimmy's Tavern.  I love to "show" it at friend events to prove he actually does let go and have fun at times.  Of course I have never sent it to anyone, post in on Facebook, or allow anyone to hold my phone when viewing.  You will only remain friends if you are first a friend....but there are no rules that say you can't embarrass them in small groups.  Ask the bartender/waitstaff to take an "end of the night" picture for your notebook.

The next day:  You now have pictures and signatures.....create a memory book of the night out.  If you have a great group of people and a great bar, like Jimmy's Tavern, you can have a wall of your memories of that night out.

Now, being the designated driver doesn't seem so bad does it.

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FREE ride for Jimmy's Tavern patrons

How many drinks would it take to be considered drunk?  Too drunk to drive?  Have you ever wondered....okay have you ever wondered this BEFORE you started drinking and not after?

Okay, one (1) drink per hour is a safe calculation.....it's too hot after that long.




Here is a calculator that tells you (estimate) what your BAC (Blood Alcohol Count) would be after so many drinks in so many hours.....COOL!! BUT.....I just learned that if I have four (4) beers at 6% alcohol in 2 1/12 hours oops DUI.  This shocked me because when I have four (4) beers at 6% alcohol in 2 1/2 hours I FEEL FINE....I guess that's where the impairment comes in huh?

So here's the thing.  No one wants you to drive drunk or impaired....even bar owners.  If you aren't safe you won't return, am I right?  It used to be called a $10,000 DUI...well those days are over because the with the increase of insurance, legal fees, fines, bail it could be up to $25,000 when you are finished.....that is $6250.00 PER BEER I just had.  MSN has a breakdown of most fees that may be incurred with a DUI. (MSN Money arrive alive).

I am going to use this calculator to determine what I can safely have BEFORE I get to the bar if I am driving.

It is important that if you are going to be drinking please do not drive.  Get a designated driver, call a cab or call a friend (hopefully not the friend who was sitting next to you drinking with you).  I am going to have to call someone or have a designated driver as the calculator says I am allowed two (2) beers at 6% alcohol in a 2 1/2 hour time span.

Jimmy's Tavern wants you to be safe when you leave there.  The staff at Jimmy's Tavern are absolutely wonderful. If you do not "trust yourself" to make the right decision hand your keys over when you get there....let the sober one who KNOWS how much you have had to drink decided if you should be driving.  Jimmy's Tavern LOVE their patrons and want them to ALWAYS be safe.

This New Years Eve you won't have to worry about it!!!  FREE RIDES FOR PUEBLO WEST RESIDENTS!!

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Located:
Jimmy's Tavern (click for map) 324 S McCulloch Blvd, Pueblo, CO 81007