Joke of the Day

Driving home 

very drunk 

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

Inside the garage was the state troopers car.

Please don't drink and drive.                          Like Jimmy's Tavern on Facebook.

I want to thank my friends at www.ahajokes.com for this one!!!

Having fun when you are the designated driver

 Okay, it's your turn...you get to go BUT no drinking for you so how are you supposed to have fun? 




Let me assure you there is plenty of ways to be included in the fun (and a few things you can do to create some fun yourself).

Be prepared:  There is nothing worse than driving a really drunk person home.  I suggest you have food in your car that will help soak up some alcohol on your ride.  PB sandwiches (no jelly) are good as they don't "drip" on your seats and it will help fill them up.

Take a notebook with you and assign each person a page.  I love to have them sign their name on the first line before they start drinking.  Each time they finish a drink you write what their drink was and have them sign next to it.  You can have a contest on the most legible signature at the end of the night....and let's be honest we love Facebook and can "post" their sheets the next day.  Make sure the bartender/waitstaff/customer takes a group picture BEFORE the drinking begins.

Go to the dollar store and buy a crazy hat or button.  When one has a "drunk moment" (we all know what those are....falling of the chair, falling into a wall, etc.) they have to wear the hat or button until the next "drunk moment."  Don't forget the picture of this.

If you have a great group of people have each person give you $20.00 before the beginning of the night.  The one with the worst signature has to tip the bartender/waitstaff their whole $20.00 and the rest tip $5.00 of their $20.00.  Depending on your group you can either return the remainder to the "non losers" of the signature game or, if everyone agrees, you can keep that as your tip.

If you feel like you are out of place drinking soda?  Order a non-alcoholic beer or drink.  If your group likes to drink shots (this gets fun with the notebook) have a shot with them....just do it with water, soda or orange juice.

As the designated driver it is your responsibility to keep everyone safe....and of course it is your obligation to take pictures and/or video of the night.  (only do this if you are the type of friend who will respect their privacy and only show them...unless they say you can post it on Facebook).  I have several videos of a friend who rarely drinks but "cut loose" one night at Jimmy's Tavern.  I love to "show" it at friend events to prove he actually does let go and have fun at times.  Of course I have never sent it to anyone, post in on Facebook, or allow anyone to hold my phone when viewing.  You will only remain friends if you are first a friend....but there are no rules that say you can't embarrass them in small groups.  Ask the bartender/waitstaff to take an "end of the night" picture for your notebook.

The next day:  You now have pictures and signatures.....create a memory book of the night out.  If you have a great group of people and a great bar, like Jimmy's Tavern, you can have a wall of your memories of that night out.

Now, being the designated driver doesn't seem so bad does it.

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