How to flirt

Let's be honest....there are some who can flirt and some who can't.  What is the difference?  Can you "learn" how to flirt or is it something you have to be born with?

YOU can learn how to flirt....if you are willing to do a few things.

1. You have to be open
2. You have to listen
3. You have to mean everything you say

Simple right?  Maybe, but these are what you have to be willing to do before you learn how to flirt.

The first thing you need to know is that flirting should be natural and subtle.  If you don't mean what you are saying you will never be able to flirt.  What you are saying cannot be "natural" if you don't believe it.  It can't be subtle if you are talking loudly......you don't want to be remembered as the person who yelled at them.

Start with a smile.  Whether you do this in the car on the way to the bar or party, in the bathroom or in a group.....SMILE.  The best way to feel good about yourself is to smile and no one wants to be flirted with by someone who doesn't feel good about themselves.  Smiling also sends a message that you are friendly, comfortable and approachable.

The touch, again subtle, is essential to flirting.....but be careful you can overdo it.  A hand on the shoulder, an easy placing of your hand on their arm, the brush of your hand on their back. 

(I love the line in the movie Hitch when Will Smith tells Kevin James: "Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass."

Talk softly so they have to lean in towards you to hear you.  Anyone who approaches you...is interested.

Make eye contact with them and SMILE with your eyes. 
There is nothing more attractive than smiling eyes. 

The mouth can fake a smile...the eyes cannot.

LISTEN to what they are saying....and more importantly HEAR what they are saying so you can mention it, again, in a later time.  For example if you are sharing stories and they mention they had client show up late to an appointment file that away for later use.  When you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom say something like...I'll be right back, and unlike your client, I would never be late when meeting you.  These kind of comments cannot be forced or "thought about" too much...they have to be natural.

Another line from Hitch that I love is:

"Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose."

Flirt with a natural purpose.  Be honest with your flirting...there is nothing worse than finding out who you were the first night you met is not who you are in real life. 

Things to avoid that make you an "obvious flirt" that no one wants to be around:

1. Flipping of the hair.  (Sublte twisting is okay but the head whip is not attractive)
2. Vulgar comments.  Even if they people around you are being vulgar, DON'T! 
3. Offend your friends or theirs by ignoring everyone else.
4. If you are going to buy them a drink....pull out the money and buy their friends too.  Don't be cheap and only buy the person you are flirting with a drink.  If you can't afford to buy the friends a drink, don't offer.

If you are not a natural, practice.  Flirting is a great way to get to know someone if it's honest.  Good luck.  Comment on what your favorite way to flirt is.

If you need to practice and live in Pueblo County, Colorado go to Jimmy's Tavern and practice there.