Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Understanding body language

Ever meet someone and wonder what they "think" of you?  Ever see someone from across the room and wonder if they were "approachable?"  This may help.

We all know what words mean...or at least we hope people understand what we mean when we talk.  What do the non-verbal gestures mean?

There are several types of non-verbal signals
Gestures:  These are a bit more obvious than other types of non-verbal communication.  Gestures consist of; thumbs up, thumbs down, strong fist (which could mean anger or solidarity), the "okay" hand sign and the "V" hand sign (which could mean victory or peace).

The "less obvious" are the movement or position of our body.  Pay attention because if you are speaking to someone these are important.

We'll begin with the "obvious" one:  Arms crossed in front usually means the person is not comfortable, does not trust you, closed off, defensive......no matter what they are feeling it is not a good sign for you.

Crossing of the legs:  This one is interesting and usually geared more towards women than men.  If their legs are crossed and opened to you it means they are interested in you, what you are saying or comfortable with you.  If they are crossed away from you it is not good for you...they either are uncomfortable with you or they want to be left alone.

Standing with their hands on their hips:  This person is showing they are in control.  It could also mean a sign of aggressiveness depending on the situation....so men, pay attention, if your spouse does this....you are possibly in trouble.

Tapping fingers or objects:  This person is bored, anxious or frustrated which means if you are the one having the conversation with them you may need to change the subject.

How a person holds themselves will tell a lot about them.  An open posture means friendliness or open to communication while a closed posture (shoulders slumped) could mean unfriendly, anxiety or hostility.

The eyes:  Often referred to the "windows to one's soul."  If a person is looking you in the eye it means they are interested in what you are saying....I know duh....BUT prolonged eye contact can be threatening so be careful.

If a person is often looking elsewhere while you are talking you need to step up your conversation.  They are either not interested in what you are saying or looking for an escape.

The faster a person blinks is usually a sign of being uncomfortable or distress. 

This information was compiled from Psychology/New York Times Company/About.com

When you are talking to someone and they look up and to the right they are using their creative side of their brain....which means they could be trying to come up with a clever answer or, more commonly known as, lying. 

To find out what side of your brain controls you go to this link and take the quiz.

Next time you are out, at Jimmy's Tavern if you are from Pueblo County, Colorado, try these out and see if you understand the person better when they aren't talking.  Comment on your discoveries.

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