Joke of the Day

Driving home 

very drunk 

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

Inside the garage was the state troopers car.

Please don't drink and drive.                          Like Jimmy's Tavern on Facebook.

I want to thank my friends at www.ahajokes.com for this one!!!

Why you should drink at Jimmy's Tavern instead of home

Every night, Harold would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.
The next night, after he finished his 3th beer, the doorbell rang.
He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Harold didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Harold went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "
" What can I do? " he pleaded.
" Not much " he doctor replied. " There's just a nasty bug going around."

This joke brought to you by Only Funny Stories

Jimmy's Tavern offers the best of Live Music Friday Nights
Karaoke Tuesday and Saturday Nights
The best bartenders
The best pool tables

BUT the best part of Jimmy's Tavern....It is your own little "Cheers" in Pueblo County: 

Everyone knows your name.

Jimmy's Tavern knows no strangers

Beware of sobriety check points

A young man was pulled over by the Pueblo Sheriff for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What you driving so fast for boy? You going to a fire? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license.

Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"

The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.

Two miles down the road at Jimmy's Tavern, Billy was drinking it up with Jerry Lee Jones. Billy soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. All of a sudden Billy spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Jimmy's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Jerry Lee.

When Jerry Lee got on the phone, Billy  said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on McCulloch. The Sheriff's are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!"

This joke was provided by http://humorvault.tripod.com/barjokes.html and was "adjusted" to fit our favorite Tavern!